Gephyrophillia | Page One #9

Originally Posted on 06/03/2002 by Jeff Harris

How many of you readers are old enough to remember Nick Jr's lineups in the early 90s? You know, before Blue even had a clue about what was going on, the lineups were filled with anime shows aimed towards the little kids like The Adventures of the Little Koala, Noozles, Li'l Bits, and Maya the Bee. Now, these were anime that were originally made for a grade-school audience, targeted towards the grade-school audience, and aired in a time period for a grade-school audience away from the regular lineup.

With that said, let me talk about the newest addition to Toonami, Hamtaro.

Hamtaro is based on a manga targeted towards grade-schoolers. The series has a childlike theme with really cutesy characters and settings, not to mention having that all-important moral lesson at the end that kids "need to learn." And now, this grade school-oriented series is now airing on a block dedicated to action-animation with mecha-powered dramas like Gundam Wing, martial-arts hijinx like Dragon Ball Z, adventure like Batman Beyond and ReBoot, and comedy/action hybrids like Outlaw Star. This is the new Toonami, boys and girls.

This is a problem.

There is a glitch in the network's resources that needs to be extracted as soon as possible. It's the KWB glitch, and it has been a part of Cartoon Network's Toonami for about a year now. Remember, last year around this time, we lost the third hour. Around the same time, the KWB glitch has grown to the broadcast sector, putting out a Toonami trojan horse to the public consciousness when in reality, it was just the same Kids' WB lineup with a new shell. The monotony has grown quite stale, "thanks" to the cut in acquisition funds and grouping both Cartoon Network and KWB under the same advertising team. When the 2002-03 acquisitions were announced, most of the new products were KWB-only and those that used to be CN-exclusives became a part of the new Kids' WB (I bet cable operators are happy with that). CN gets nothing, the glitch absorbs everything.

Since the Toonami trojan horse didn't do as well as WB execs had hoped it would, they decided last spring to get rid of the Toonami name on the weekday Kids' WB lineup by September. However, by bringing back the third hour, they're kind of killing their block tenfold by pitting "the next big thing" Hamtaro against Pokemon, whose producers are now programming the Fox Box Block in the fall. This is good and all, but you have to wonder at what cost? Is putting a grade-school oriented series like Hamtaro on the Toonami block worth putting the Pokemon franchise to pasture?

Maybe, who knows? The fans (who have to watch the show), the Toonami producers (who reluctantly scheduled the series), and ad execs (like they really matter) are watching the carnage, waiting to see what happens in the months ahead. Afterall, there is change in the air in a matter of months.

Old allies are returning to the fold. New foes may be booted out. Toonami seems to be a visual example of the mismanagement of the new Turner Broadcasting, and with total network ratings down over 20% in a span of (gasp!) a year, perhaps it's time to take matters into the hands of those that can do something about it, like, bringing back the Turner in Turner Broadcasting and permanently separate the broadcast network from the cable unit and bring class back to the Turner networks. There are a few brave soldiers willing to slay the beast once and for all. Let nature take over, my friends.

In the meantime, bear with Hamtaro. It'll be on the block for the forseeable future, but realize this. The block always changes and nothing is permanent.

Except for Dragon Ball Z, where a day's work could last for several months.

Tune in Wednesday for another briefing from the bridge. I got something else to say.

Until we are one, later.

Jeff Harris
Webmaster
June 3, 2002