Scratchbuilding | SB-03: Cartoon Network 1.0 (Part One)

Originally Posted by Jeff Harris

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Let's get this out before I start everything.

I hate Cartoon Network.

Gosh, it feels good to type that out. I know hate is a very strong word that one should use sparingly, but it's a feeling I truly have for the network now. I hate Cartoon Network. When I began the site way back in the olden days of July 1998, I truly loved the network. It was the first (and, at the time, only) all-animation network in the world. There was something for everybody, and all seemed well with the universe.

Of course, as you might have noticed, idiots took over management of the network. The Kellner/Register years began to drop older cartoons and shows dedicated to animation history. They concentrated on the then-new Adult Swim block as the only place adults could watch cartoons while Cartoon Network became more juvenile. Gone were the marquee originals that helped create an image in the hearts of the viewers with the exception of Ed, Edd, and Eddy, the only series on Cartoon Network with no human adults on the screen at the time. Kellner and Register left and the Samples/Higgins era began. Instead of going back to basics, they continued their descent into madness by completely separating Adult Swim from Cartoon Network and making more network-changing decisions, including the shockingly moronic decision to create and program fully live-action series and movies. While both Samples and Higgins are gone, the Snyder/Sorcher management that replaced them continued business as usual, in an even more extreme format. Cartoon Network is no longer Cartoon Network.

At this point, it has devolved from an all-animation channel to a third-rate Disney/Nickelodeon wanna-be, not even a second-rate one.

Boomerang, Cartoon Network's sibling network, could be salvaged, but Cartoon Network's problems are too numerous to just touch up. It's a mangled mess that has a completely damaged reputation throughout the country, at least in the hearts of the once-loyal viewers and the animation community at large. I'm not saying it's going to be a quick fix by any stretch, because it's not. This would take far more talented hands and at least two different channels (and parts) to get it right. This is part one of a two-part master plan. But first thing's first. This is step zero.