Gephyrophillia | Watch This Space #11

Originally Posted on 11/03/2002 by Jeff Harris

Dedicated to the memory of Jam Master Jay, one of the greatest hip-hop pioneers ever, giving a sound and an image to New York's finest rap artists, and to the family and friends left behind. One love.

I hated the month of October.

I hated it with utter prejudice and complete loathing. If I had a subatomic particle deactivator, I would have smashed it from existance. From personal loss to just plain frustration about certain cable networks (particularly Kids' WB Cable, a network that, until May 2001, was called Cartoon Network; I would call it something else, but suburbanite kids read this site, and I don't want them whining about "Mom, what's does 'BYCH' mean?," clearly mispronouncing the word in question). But it's a new month. November. Time to have fun again, but before I have fun, I have to answer a few questions, make impassionate pleas, talk about recent events, and make my otherwise meaningless observations about the way of the world.

Starting . . . now.

- For all the readers coming from the United Kingdom who watch the new digital cable network CNX, I have to make this rather blunt statement. PLEASE STOP WRITING AND REQUESTING INFORMATION ABOUT ANYTHING INVOLVING THAT CHANNEL!!!! I don't know what's the name of the song played during the DBZ advertisements on the network. I don't know if or when they're going to air any anime movies. I don't know why Telewest still isn't carrying the frelling network. From this point on, please don't contact me about the goings on at CNX UK. Neither my site, which is considerably older, nor myself is affiliated with the network, so please, don't take this the wrong way. I mean no harm.

- Why in the name of all things decent is Kids' WB Cable putting Pokemon and YuGiOh! in primetime? I can't call the network Cartoon Network anymore because its heart, body, and soul are now the proprietary property of the Corporate Smirk, and will be continued to be violated until he is properly removed from his monopolistic position (there's something wrong with a network not doing anything special outside of a two-minute promo to celebrate a decade on the air). It's obvious that this is pretty much a Smirk-guided decision, but why would they just place those shows in the middle of prime-time like that? It's also pretty obvious that Kids' WB is pushing these two properties in a big way (which explains why they put reruns from yesterday on Toonami in the hour which, in most markets, is home to those two shows on broadcast television). Of course, KWB is promoting those two for two totally different reasons. One of those reasons is that they're both very toyetic properties, though Pokemon's popularity is fading fast and YuGiOh has taken over that franchise's position in the hearts of the mindless lemmings.

A second reason why they're pushing both shows is because they're afraid that they're going to lose them after this season. 4Kids Entertainment produces both shows for Kids' WB, but they also have a competing block on Fox, the ubiquiously named Fox Box. At any moment, 4Kids could snatch them away from KWB, which is perhaps why they're treating their number one series as God's gift to animation with a weekday afternoon slot free from competion (from Cartoon Network, the only network KWB could control) and now a prime-time position in a slot with virtually no competition (Nick ends its "Nickelodeon" programming at 9 PM Mondays through Thursdays, so the mindless lemmings will run to familiar ground). Shameful.

- Did I miss something? Exactly when did Wizard Magazine become Marvel Age? Seriously, for a comics magazine, they sure give a LOT of free press to the New York Thieves, better known as Marvel Entertainment. I mean, I know there's a lot of other publishers, but why exactly does Marvel take so much prominence in the pages of Wizard? Are the writers better? Are the artists just that damned superior? Or does the powers that be at Timely have an agreement that "no other comic publisher shall have any prominent story within the pages of Wizard" and that every other issue should have Wolverine on the cover (along with the stipend that places Marvel characters on the covers of all newsstand issues)? I don't know. It just smells like sour milk.

- Newtype USA. Wow! Probably the best anime mag in the country right now, complete with its coverage of Japanese anime, art tips, and just plain goodness from the land of the rising sun. And that DVD sampler wasn't half bad either. I think I'm a fan of Full Metal Panic now. Still, it does have its flaws (particularly lack of domestic anime coverage), but I'm sure that'll be fixed in time.

- The best hour of anime on cable television is not on Kids' WB Cable. No, no, no! The best hour of anime is only on International Channel. Every Wednesday night from 9:30 to 10:30 PM EST, I-Channel brings you El Hazzard [dubbed and uncut!] and Slayers Next {subbed and uncut!}. On Sundays at 10:30 DBZ in the raw (in Japanese with NO subtitles), but alas, you've probably missed it. DBGT is about to begin.

- G.I. Joe is back on Cartoon Network for another tour of duty. I kind of wonder when this moment of clarity happened (I mean, honestly, they haven't even advertised the return of Batman to the weekday lineups, and I felt that was their best move in a long, long time). It will be seen back to back with G Gundam on the Midnight Run starting tomorrow. One last run for the block before it's replaced by the second hour of the new weekday Adult Swim in January, which is Cowboy Bebop and InuYasha (Futurama and Home Movies is in the hour before it). Better go out with a bang than another Dragon Ball-soaked sponge.

- There's no love for the block as of late, so why should I care about them? Okay, that's not a good attitude to have, but at the rate things are going, particularly the DBZami the block has become and the eliminate of the Midnight Run in January (not to mention the removal of Adult Swim Action on Saturdays), it's apparent the Cartoon Network purists are on the losing side of the battle down there in Atlanta in favor of the idiots of Kids' WB on the West Coast, basically watering down the "competition" with an inferior lineup and lack of promotion on the broadcast equivalent. Hell, as much as I don't like giving Nickelodeon a compliment, I think the "Nick on CBS" arrangement is handled right. Sure, it's repeats, but at least CBS gives credit to the cable network as well as plugs Nick during the commercial break (and it's also good to have your network's logo sharing time with the broadcast logo). What Kids' WB, the lemmings in the control room at CN, and the Corporate Smirk has done is basically put Cartoon Network in the shadows (almost making them non-existant to the unaware kid-lemmings who might have never heard of Cartoon Network [yes, as hard as it may seem, there are still households WITHOUT Cartoon Network]) and completely using the network to promote KWB and The WB. I don't think AOHell 8.0 even has Cartoon Network-oriented ads on it anymore (and I thought they were supposed to advertise all of their units).

*sigh*

Until we are one, later.
Jeff Harris
CNX Creator/Webmaster
November 3, 2002