Gephyrophillia | Watch This Space #12

Originally Posted on 11/04/2002 by Jeff Harris

Yesterday . . . rather, last night, I've noticed that Cartoon Network has done some really idiotic things, from neglecting to properly celebrate the network's 10th anniversary and promoting a series that they don't even own in prime-time out of fear that they might (will) lose them as well as counterprogram the cable network they are in control to run repeats while repeats of those two shows air, not surprisingly, at the same time in most markets. I've also pointed out their brief moments of clarity, which was bringing Batman back to weekday afternoons as well as putting G.I. Joe on during the soon-to-be extinct Toonami Midnight Run.

Well, cats and kittens, here's a moment of clarity followed by a moment of utter stupidity from our friends at Cartoon Network. Here's a tender moment that is subject to change, but let's prey that it doesn't.

Starting on Monday, December 30 at 4 PM, the long national nightmare is over. Toonami is actually a watchable block (combined with the Boomeraction/Batman hour before it, it's even more watchable). Here is the new lineup effective on this day (all times Eastern/Pacific):

Weekdays (Mondays through Fridays)
4 PM: Max Steel (new to Toonami with new episodes)
4:30 PM: Transformers: Armada
5 PM: He-Man and the Masters of the Universe (key position for the block)
5:30 PM: Dragon Ball
6 PM: Dragon Ball Z
6:30 PM: Samurai Jack (new to Toonami, and it's about damned time)

Midnight Run (Mondays through Thursdays until January 13):
12 AM: G Gundam
12:30 AM: G.I. Joe

Could it be that Toonami's becoming watchable once more and the idiots haven't completely taken over Cartoon Network? Or is this another taste of Toonami greatness for one week only to be yanked away by more repeats of DBZ and DB (it happened in mid-October, and the fans never forgot . . . because it's still going on). Regardless, this is indeed good news, though this is just a temporary schedule and could always change between now and December 30.

Now, here's that moment of utter stupidity I promised. And, sweet Jesus, is it stupid.

You know, political correctness can go so far. It's silly, but that's the nature of the beast and politics in this fershluggen country of ours (you get what they paid for). Now, I'm a God-fearing man, even calling myself a Christian (a true Christian, not those bigots hiding behind some coalition). I'm also a fan of humor. Now, I don't understand the logic behind why the Corporate Smirk yanked the cable premiere of "Rejected" last night. Okay, I do understand why. He was afraid of making Cartoon Network a target of those bigoted individuals sullying the name of Christianity like Robertson and Falwell, and the like. Why? Because of a simple, two-word phrase.

"Sweet Jesus."

Okay, I can understand to a point about the Christian mantra that you shouldn't use the Lord's name in vain. I can understand that. I observe that. But come on, you can say "Oh my God," and nobody raises an eyebrow. It's basically the same thing, the same saying, with the same connoctation. Yet, for some reason, people can slide saying "oh my God" (like I did in yesterday's update) while the saying "Sweet Jesus" would cause a corporate executive, in this case our friend Smirk, to buy insurance to prevent a potential . . . lawsuit?!? Okay, let me rewind that. A lawsuit? For saying two words? Egads, if that's not utter stupidity, I don't know what is.

Rejected is chock full of over the edge insanity, violence, and silliness, none of which the programmers at Cartoon Network had a problem with. It's just that two-worded phrase that caused the censors and the Corporate Smirk to squirm and reject Rejected, replacing it with The Lewis Lectures, despite showing clips from Rejected throughout the week. And if it's one thing the Corporate Smirk knows about is the wraith of public opinion, and right now, just about everybody wants his head on a stake. But he just shrugs it off because, in his mind, the viewers don't matter. Just ask fans of Animaniacs, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Pinky and the Brain, TiVo, Toonami, World Championship Wrestling, The Steve Harvey Show, For Your Love, Steven Spielberg, The Wayans Brothers, Freakazoid, Batman, Invasion: America, Roswell, Superman, Batman Beyond, Calamity Jane, Brats of the Lost Nebula, Warner Bros. Animation . . . let's say he doesn't have a lot of fans.

Call me crazy, and call me mad, but I think the general public, fans of the above franchises should create a legitimate case demanding the resignation of Jamie Kellner from the position of president and CEO of Turner Broadcasting for the following reasons: Conflict of interest, devaluing the company stock, and inhibiting creative expression and development. Yeah, it's a long shot, but these are legitimate reasons for getting rid of someone. And I don't think I'd find a lot of supporters of his practices. But yeah, I'm a crazy person, I can only dream.

Is it just me, or was the Simpsons Treehouse of Terror XIII just abysmal this year? I don't know what it was, it just wasn't as funny as it could have been. Usually, I'll have a chuckle or two during an average Simpsons episode, but this year, nothing. Not even a snicker (or in the Simpsons case, a Butterfinger).

Speaking of things that's very unpalletable for my tastes, I saw the last episode of Dragon Ball Z last night on International Channel (CN's airing it some time next year, not this season, which is just plain asinine because the last six episodes are nothing more than just filler). I was going to watch Rejected instead, but the Corporate Smirk changed my mind at the very last minute. Yeah, I know that Dragon Nall GT is coming next week and followed DBZ in rotation, but this episode was the final canon story from Akira Toriyama, the creator of Dragonball and DBZ, and to be completely honest, this is NOT how you should end a story. I won't spoil the story for those that haven't seen it (I'll make you suffer and groan in disgust like I did when it finally is dubbed), but I'll give you this warning:

It's not like what you would imagine an epic series would end.

Last week's Gargoyles marathon on Toon Disney was worth watching, and I'm just mad I couldn't promote it more. Unfortunately, the scissors-happy dopes decided to air the bulk of the episodes with edits, which is mind-numbingly inane considering the fact that they were, oh, how can I put it delicately? Oh yeah . . . THEY WERE MADE FOR BROADCAST TELEVISION!! If it was good enough for broadcast television, why would it be taboo for cable? Are Toon Disney's standards so strict that you can't even hold a gun, punch somebody in the head, or kick off a robot's head? I'm surprised that they actually showed Deadly Force, but I wasn't surprised that they edited out the whole screen of Elisa lying in a pool of her own blood (though they did show a crimson fluid on her stomach and on the hands of Broadway). Eh. They aired it, and I'm not totally bitter about it (I mean, this is an episode they've skipped over and over again).

Spider-Man, one of the best comics-based movies ever made, is out on DVD, but I'm sure you knew that. The Powerpuff Girls Movie is coming out tomorrow. You'd think that the network would be plugging away at this, considering that they air the series. However, since the movie didn't get a huge box office take (no thanks to Warner Bros' mismarketing of the film to the Nick and Disney Channel viewers and Radio Disney listeners as well as "reviewers" from affiliates of the owners of Nickelodeon and Disney Channel slamming the film as being too aggressive [and I'm not even going to discuss Roger Ebert's callus comments comparing the film to one of the nation's biggest tragedies, because that was totally uncalled for]), they'll probably neglect advertising for it. So, I'll plug the DVD. Cartoon Network's first theatrical film, The Powerpuff Girls Movie, is now on DVD and video for a very affordable price.

Okay, I think you've heard enough of my mad rantings for now. I'll be around if you got questions.

Until we are one, later.
Jeff Harris
CNX Creator/Webmaster
November 4, 2002