Gephyrophillia | Watch This Space #139

Originally Posted on 03/07/2006 by Jeff Harris

Tonight, I mourn for the loss of Toonami in the UK.

The Union Jack is at half-mast because the idiots at Cartoon Network UK decided . . . well, here's what they said in their own words:

You don't have to change mp3 players whenever you want to listen to a different type of music; you don't need to use a different phone to text each of your best mates, so why should you have to flick to another channel whenever you want to watch a different type of TV show?

If you're fed up spending more time staring at a TV guide than watching what you want, then all-new Toonami has your name tagged all over it.

From Monday 6th March Toonami will be the only channel where you can catch the hottest dramas, the funniest comedies and the toons that everybody's talking about all in one place.

I'm cutting it off here because I don't want to plug the new (and I use the term loosely because it's all pretty old) programming that's now on Toonami in the UK. Live-action sitcoms, dramas, science, and sports shows. In short, everything that does not represent, in any shape or form, what the word Toonami is all about.

Meanwhile, in the land of the rising sun, Japan fully understands and embraces what Toonami is supposed to be all about and what it represents. A great mix of American fare like Teen Titans, Justice League, and The Batman, classic Japanese animation like Samurai Keeper Kyo and The Slayers (wonder how FUNimation's doing on that property), and the beautiful American/Japanese hybrid that is IGPX. Yep, equal balance of show power, just like America's Toonami was for a brief period in 2004 before the anime took over the following year. And yet strangely, Toonami comes on every day twice a day in Japan EXCEPT on Saturdays. Hmm.

But I lament the passing of Toonami in the UK. In spite of its . . . auspicious origins, by year two, it seemed as if Toonami was getting their act together. Sure, Adult Swim stuff was here and there, but action animation took over. It was the world's first and only Toonami-themed network. A couple of months ago, the powers that be decided that Toonami shouldn't be a place for all-action animation. Apparently, they felt that girls don't watch action cartoons. They also felt that perhaps the all-animation concept of Toonami didn't matter. Afterall, they (that is, Cartoon Network UK) feel that kids don't need to watch cartoons on a Cartoon Network spinoff network with the word TOON as the prefix in the brand name TOONAMI. So, they picked up shows that, under a management that actually believes in their product, they wouldn't have even THOUGHT about picking up. Live-action sitcoms, children-themed science shows, Australian teen soaps, sports programming. Obviously, Toonami doesn't stand for the finest action cartoons on the planet, but instead, Parker fecking Lewis.

The culture that Cartoon Network officially introduced to their networks in November 2005 of airing live-action movies and series and adapting a "cartoony in spirit" mantra has evolved into an even more viralent form in the UK, and thus effectively killing the world's first Toonami network. For a brand that has become a standard for almost a decade worldwide, it has failed in the most unfortunate way, and I weep.

I weep because the network failed right out the box by introducing live-action early on in the beginning, the first CN outlet to air live-action, even before POGO. I weep because there was so much potential, and yet network mismanagement and failure to listen to free advice (isn't it ironic? Don't you think?) doomed them from the beginning. I weep because this is only the beginning of a period that feels that animation is no longer in the grand scheme of Cartoon Network.

In the future, I wouldn't be surprised if someone launches an animation station. I'm sure they'd get a response like "Cartoons 24/7/365. What a radical concept!"

Revolution is the next step. Express yourself Britons. Tell them what you feel, and get them where they'll hurt.

*end transmission*

Jeff Harris,
The X Bridge Creator/Webmaster
March 7, 2006