Gephyrophillia | Watch This Space #153

Originally Posted on 05/29/2007 by Jeff Harris

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away . . .

Actually, it was 30 years ago, May 25, 1977. I can tell you exactly where I was. I was in my mother's uterus. I think I got my fingers that day. A movie that changed EVERYTHING opened to record audiences. It revolutionized special effects and science-fiction films from that point on, helped create a marketing term (Bernard Loomis's awesome word "toyetic"), influenced a spawn of ripoffs and derivatives, and made George Lucas a very, very, very, very rich man. And because George Lucas became a very, very, very, very rich man, studios changed the rules so that THEY become the ones who became very, very rich from the movies they produce.

The movie was Star Wars.

Not Star Wars: A New Hope. Not Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope.

Star Wars.

I'm not going to lie to you. I love the movie. I love the story and mythology, even if they aren't all that original. I love the matinee-era action, that I also learned wasn't all that original. I think Darth Vader is one of the best movie characters ever, even though he's essentially a more evil, less vain version of Doctor Doom in black. And I dig the original special effects, not the updated graphics that basically shouted out to the public "Hey, we got newer computers now, we can make pointless haloes in explosions, animate animals that serve no purpose, and eventually eliminate puppets and humans for no reason at all." However, I don't see why there is such fanaticism for a movie that, for all purposes, is nothing more than a B-movie filled with a lot of "ooh and ahh" moments.

Seriously, have you actually paid attention to the acting of the movies? People say that the acting of the prequels were wooden, but that legacy came from a previous generation of oaky performances. Maybe it was just the stilted dialogue. Just as I'm about to incur the wraith of the Warsies, Warsers, or whatever the fanbase call themselves, I'm not here to slam the Star Wars movies entirely. There are actually three great movies in the sextilogy. A New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back, and Revenge of the Sith. Sorry, let me say it in the exact order.

Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, Episode IV: A New Hope, and Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back.

The last chapter of the original trilogy, Return of the Jedi, was a mess and began to crumble the facade that George Lucas was an inept creator. Then again, it was a third movie, and most third movies suffer from the third-movie virus that makes them almost unwatchable. When the first of the prequels came out, people hoped it would be an awesome film. The Phantom Menace made more than $430 million in the States, but that just proved that people were hyped by the packaging and hoopla rather than the story, which was scat. People weren't as receptive towards Attack of the Clones, and many people already saw the best scene in the commercials after the release. There was an animated chapter, Episode 2.5: The Clone Wars, which bridged the final moments of Attack of the Clones and the first moments of Episode III, the final movie of the prequels. Revenge of the Sith, basically took the best characters and elements from the first two prequels, all but eliminated Jar-Jar Binks, and essentially created an origin story, which are often great tales to tell.

Half of the movies were good. Half weren't. To say that Star Wars didn't change the world would be a vast understatement. It just didn't change mine. Like other sci-fi series, movies, and franchises, I basically see a source of entertainment, not an alternative religion of sorts, which is what a lot of people try to turn things like Star Wars into. I could also see how techheads, special effects artists, and writers could find inspiration from the movies. Of course, those same individuals could find inspiration in the movies, books, and newsreels George Lucas used for his own studies.

Star Wars is perhaps one of the most acclaimed science-fiction franchises on the planet outside of Star Trek, Doctor Who, and Gundam and deserves all the accolades and respect its getting on its 30th anniversary this year. Still, it just didn't change my life.

If it did change your life, e-mail me your thoughts, and I'll post some of more interesting ones in a special section. If it didn't change your life like it didn't change mine, e-mail me as well.

*end transmission*

Jeff Harris,
The X Bridge Creator/Webmaster
May 29, 2007