Gephyrophillia | Watch This Space #155

Originally Posted on 07/20/2007 by Jeff Harris

I've noticed that I haven't really said anything about Toonami since the block's reboot. Truth be told that I haven't had cable since the middle of May, and after everything I have heard, I'm not missing much.

They brought back Dragon Ball Z. Great, ghosts of shows of long ago. When the block was on weekdays, the episodes flowed like water. Now that it's on Saturdays only, you can tell why the show is called "Drag-On Ball Z" in some circles. I'm not impressed by ghosts myself, but at least DBZ is much, much, much, much, much better than Pokemon reruns, which air in every open space not occupied by a Cartoon Network original.

They're still doing Naruto marathons for a quick ratings fix. Oh, wait, I can hear you thinking "The marathons pick up good ratings! Why do you need complain about them?" Yes, they have great ratings, but it's an artificial high meant to satisfy advertisers and to pull them in temporarily. A week later when the ratings dip, they'll pull out again.

There's no real variety on the block anymore, and everything that is Toonami is kind of scrapped. The block is now largely Shonen Jump gone animated as well as connected to a skateboarding competition and an internet endeavor that recently celebrated its first anniversary with limited fanfare co-owned by the people behind Shonen Jump. Thankfully, the UK network died before it embrarrassed itself and the brand any further. I don't believe the US block will be anymore of a quagmire than the UK network, but it's becoming chillingly close over the past couple of months. That's "thanks" to Cartoon Network trying to distance themselves from who they used to be and becoming more of a channel that wants to emulate networks more successful than they are. Meaning they don't want to be a "cartoon network" but rather a "kids' network that shows cartoons from time to time."

In essence, they want to be Nickelodeon without the love Viacom shows that network from Time Warner and the marketability that has made it a household name for almost 30 years.

Which leads me to this question that is on the minds of many long-time fans of the block. Or at least the ones that remained after all these years. It's an oft-repeated question because it seems every year, it's asked. Don't know WHY it's asked every year, but since it is asked, perhaps it's something Cartoon Network should look at themselves and wonder about.

"Is Toonami dying?"

I don't think Toonami is "dying" nor do I believe Toonami is dead. In short, I think it's in a coma. It's Cartoon Nothing (thanks DirecTV for that "misspelling") that's the walking corpse. That channel has been dead since January 2006. Cartoon Nothing has abandoned everything that they stood for, and the sad part is that they truly don't care.

They don't care what anybody over the age of 12 have to say about their programming because, according to them, we don't exist. Sure, they try to tempt older viewers with shows like TV-PG-rated Naruto and random TV-14-rated movies, but the fact that certain future acquisitions are still considered "not Toonami" in light of that evidence is not only embarrassing to the network, but it's also laughable. YTV's Bionix block has learned how to use Toonami's original formula as well as clearly defining itself as a block for older audiences, not just those under 12.

Cartoon Network continues to have a mentality that they and Adult Swim are completely separate entities, which is completely untrue. The Boston Mooninite Scare proved that earlier in the year. And if so, why would these entities have to "battle" to acquire certain programs. The company will broadcast it regardless, no matter which brand acquired it. It's like Nick at Nite beat Nickelodeon for broadcasting rights to Full House when Viacom owns the network outright and decides which outlet the show is best suited for. Hell, Family Guy airs on Cartoon Network and TBS to this day. And yes, I said Cartoon Network. Adult Swim is a block.

Why couldn't Hellboy air on Adult Swim? Why couldn't Bleach air on Toonami? Where are Death Note and Blue Dragon headed? Why do we continue asking these questions in 2007?

Truth be told, if Cartoon Network wanted Toonami to be more than just a corporate umbrella for acquired action programming, they would do that. There was no difference between Toonami and Miguzi, and the only difference between Adult Swim and Toonami is that Adult Swim shows can cuss just a wee bit . . . no, they said "bitch" on IGPX during its Toonami run, that defense is moot.

There are no solid plans as to the direction of the block in the next year or so. Even high-profile acquisitions and projects that would scream Toonami aren't coming to the actual block. Most of the CN original action properties are coming to Saturday mornings, rumored to be rebranded Miguzi. Transformers: Animated is also Saturday morning bound in 2008. Storm Hawks came to Toonami as an afterthought because it did become a popular franchise. Wolverine and the X-Men's network status is in question after the disappointing run of Fantastic Four on Toonami.

So, what's wrong with Toonami? Everything. Is it a lost cause? Unless there's a widespread case of arse-head release syndrome at Techwood, most definitely. The Revolution that was Toonami has come and gone. It's something a lot of us longtime fans don't want to hear, but it's the truth nonetheless. We all dream and fantasize about what we want Toonami to be, but we don't matter.

We're all too old to keep watching. They want us at Adult Swim instead.

Therefore, there has to be a new Revolution. A new voice to listen to. A new way of thinking to be heard. A new world to embrace. The problem is who will be the first to step up to the plate? Who will be the first to fully take on Toonami and shake them to their core? Will it be a Jetix? The Anime Network? Funimation Channel? Or will it be someone who has yet to make their plans public but is currently encircling the country?

Who knows? All I know is that despite everything that has happened, the Revolution will be . . .

*end transmission*

Jeff Harris,
The X Bridge Creator/Webmaster
July 20, 2007